Channeling Tech for Good: A guide to helping your child set technology boundaries for life
In today’s world, technology surrounds us at all times. As I sit writing this blog and as you sit reading it, we are entrenched in tech - for better or for worse. With education and work shifting to more and more remote opportunities, we as adults need to help guide our children in their use of technology - read on for a few quick ideas on how to channel tech for GOOD in your home!
But first…
Let me proudly admit that I am a total tech nerd - please enjoy this picture of 4-year-old me SUPER focused on her (now ancient) Mac computer. As an assistive technology specialist, a consultant for an app company, and and a Silicon Valley native, I want to put it out there: technology is by no means “evil”… it is in fact incredibly powerful. And along those lines, THIS IS A SAFE SPACE. These are just some suggestions. There is ZERO judgment in this post. Parents need to make dinner, somehow work from home while simultaneously parenting, and just plain survive in this crazy world we live in; sometimes handing our children technology is the only way that we can do that. So just know as you read, this is a judgment free zone - you are an amazing parent who is doing an incredible job in the midst of insanity. Put technology to work for you and choose your battles, especially in these tough times.
Setting Limits
This is definitely something I struggle with daily. As adults, we need to model for our children how to set limits about how often we pick up our phones to check our work email, how frequently we flick through social media. Perhaps this means that phones are left on the kitchen counter while we sit down to dinner at the table as a family. Maybe it means you set your phone to charge by the front door instead of on your bedside table. Perhaps it means reading a good old fashioned paperback book instead of turning on the TV (though don’t get me wrong, I love my Libby app and devour digital books from my local library weekly, and who doesn’t enjoy a mindless Netflix binge from time to time). It’s all about balance, right?
But what about our children? Did you know that the frontal lobe of the brain doesn’t fully develop until we’re into our early 20’s? The frontal lobe of our brain is responsible for judgment and even inhibition - the ability to stop ourselves from acting. It’s a lot to expect of our children to limit themselves. So other than modeling, how can we do that?
Define Your Expectations - children generally want to please their grown-ups. Parents and caregivers should get together as a team and clarify when and how they want their children using technology. Once the grown-ups are all on the same page, communicate those rules to your children, and stick with them as best you can. By giving our children consistent, clear expectations, they understand what’s expected of them. It can even help to remind children (and us grown-ups) what those rules are by posting visual reminders - if your child isn’t reading yet, use pictures!
Guided Access - this is one of my favorite Apple features. It locks you into a single app, and you can even de-activate parts of the screen and set a timer. This is great if you’d like your child to stick within an education app or even a game for a specific amount of time. Go to Settings —> Accessibility —> Guided Access - you then can toggle Guided Access on and set several options, including your passcode to unlock your device from Guided Access, the way you start Guided Access (the automatic settings is that you open the desired app, triple click on your home button, and then you’ll be able to circle any parts of the screen you’d like blocked, such as escape or edit buttons, and also set a time limit), and other features. Once you turn Guided Access on, at the end of the amount of time you’ve set (you don’t have to set a timer, it can just be indefinite), an alarm will sound and the iPad will lock until you enter the passcode you set for Guided Access. You can determine whether you’d like things like the lock button and volume buttons locked when you start Guided Access. Get out of Guided Access by triple clicking the home button again and then hitting “End” and entering your passcode - you can also adjust the time limit and other features that way, too.
Differentiate “Work” from “Play”
We often talk about this as a best practice for a child using an Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) device - that device, be it an iPad, an iPhone, a Tobii, a computer, etc., should ONLY be used for communication. Children do well with cut and dry expectations and differentiation.
In a perfect world, we might have one tablet for fun, and a laptop for learning. And in fact, many school districts are now providing Chromebooks or other digital learning tools for children to use at home - I’d encourage you to keep those tools specific to learning. For one thing, it will limit the distractions that your child has to ignore (remember, that frontal lobe isn’t done developing!) when they’re doing their school work. For another, it will create a cut and dry line between work and play.
If you’re working with a single device, try creating different spaces in your home, or even a process of converting your work area from work to play/life. Perhaps there’s one corner of the room where you can set up a desk for you or your child to do your respective forms of “work” (after all, learning at school is a child’s job). One of my dear friends lives in an apartment in Chicago. She doesn’t have the luxury of space for a desk, or a separate room for an office. She was just describing to me that at the end of her work day, she makes a point to close her laptop and remove it from their dining room table, stowing it away on a rolling storage caddy. By creating this division between work and life, she is able to better leave work for work hours. Similarly, you can model this for your children, and model that when you are at your work space, you are there to work. When you pick up your tablet and take it to the couch at the end of your day, you are going there to “play”.
Think about the WHY
As I said earlier, technology can be an incredibly powerful tool when channeled for good. Technology doesn’t just have to be used for games - it can of course be used for work (think spreadsheets, research, email, etc.) and school (think writing assignments, classroom Zooms, etc.). But, technology can also be used for socializing and creativity!
A few fun ideas of how to use technology in ways that will enhance your child’s speech and language skills…
Video calls with family - I LOVE video calls, because it allows children to see both the person they’re talking to, but also themselves. It gives them a chance to think about what their facial expressions are saying (for our kids on the Autism Spectrum, this can be hugely helpful to point out to them), and also gives children the opportunity to see others’ facial expressions and nonverbal communication cues.
Listen to books on tape - this not only develops auditory comprehension skills, but also enriches your child’s life by taking them to places unknown and worlds unimagined. Have a discussion after you listen together! You can even color while you listen, or build some legos!
Play social games - there are so many different games on the Internet now that you can play with people near and far. Set up a game night to meet up with your out-of-state family online (my cousin is a PRO at this), and play a fun game like SushiGo on the Internet (Boardgamearena.com has a TON of games), or even set up a Zoom and play a round of Pictionary!
Get creative - anyone remember KidPix from back in the day? There are so many ways that computers can be used to harness a child’s creativity, be it designing a new world in Minecraft or telling a story with a fun PBS Kids interactive website. Just make sure you TALK about the creative things your child is creating. Get involved with your child’s Minecraft world, and ask them questions about it! Discuss the Curious George game your child is playing on PBS Kids. Show your child that you’re interested and have a conversation about their creative outlet. Check out this website from KQED for more websites with fun, educational and creative games!
From my Audiologist Colleagues…
WATCH YOUR VOLUME! Yes, I did yell that at you. Did you know that 1.1 BILLION young people are at risk of hearing loss from loud music and noise? (ASHA) YIKES. Encourage your children to turn down the volume in those earbuds and headphones. Model appropriate volume levels on your car radio. Think before you turn up the volume!
Finally, the American Speech, Language, and Hearing Association (ASHA) recently started a campaign encouraging healthy communication in these techie times. Check out their website for a few motivators to be mindful about your child’s technology usage, as well as some other tips for using technology at home!
If you do have concerns about your child’s communication skills, especially in this remote world, please reach out for a complimentary screening. In many cases, this can be conducted virtually, and we’re always happy to chat with you over the phone to hear your concerns and discuss potential next steps. Give us a call or send us an email today!